Sunday, May 18, 2014

SNL - Boy Dance Party Lyrics

I think these are right.

I did my best.



Ladies off the floor!
Here's some info that may come as a surprise
Sometimes we like to dance with just us guys
(boy dance)

Not homoerotic, just a call for brotherly unity
(U-N-I-T-Y)
To dance our stress away, without no womanly scrutiny.
We know we don't dance good but that's just part of our charm.
So sway your tato skins and chicken wings.
Skins is butts and Wings is arms.
(spicy)

It's a boy dance party
It's a boy dance party
It's a boy dance party
Boy Dance Party

In the olden days (way back) the ladies stayed at home while the men went to work
But now it's time for the ladeis to get out so the men can twerk
So grab a beer twirl your remote maybe smoke a little pot (outside)
If you see a girl nearby then STOP

(Gwen Interlude)

It's a boy dance party
It's a boy dance party
It's a boy dance party
It's a boy dance party
Boy Dance Party

We're about to break it down boy dance style
Fellas spread em shoulder width and flex your back (oh yeah)
Throw your hands up in the air and shake that sack
Shake it, Shake it
Shake that, Shake that sack
Sh-sh-sh-shake it
Shake shake shake that sack
Shake that sack
Shake shake shake that sack
Shake that, Shake that, Shake shake that sack
Shake that sack
Shake Shack

It's a boy dance party
No girls allowed, No girls allowed
It's a boy dance party

Sweat in your sweat pants, Sweat in your sweats
It's a boy dance party
Boys like dancing too
Boy.  Dance.  Party.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

how fast can you name these words?

Saw this on facebook.

how fast can you? guess? these? words?
1.BOO_S
2.__NDOM
3.F__K
4.P_N_S
5.PU_S_
6.S_X

Scroll down for answers.











































































Answers:
1.BOOKS,2.RANDOM,3.FORK,4.PANTS,5.PULSE,6.SIX .You got all 6? wrong?? didnt? you?

Note: I got #2 right.

And here is the exact copy I took from facebook:

how fast can you? guess? these? words?
1.BOO_S
2.__NDOM
3.F__K
4.P_N_S
5.PU_S_
6.S_X

Answers:1.BOOKS,2.RANDOM,3.FORK,4.PANTS,5.PULSE,6.SIX .You got all 6? wrong?? didnt? you?

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

flynn rider smolder in MsPaint

Original Flynn Rider Smolder Picture:



Flynn Rider Smolder in MsPaint:

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Saturday, March 5, 2011

matthew barnaby oh face


vs jason doig.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

ilya bryzgalov vs beach ball



beach ball wins.

bryzgalov stares down whole team after the beach ball crosses the goal line.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

NHL Team Logo Collage



Teams included:
  • Anaheim Mighty Ducks
  • Atlanta Thrashers
  • Boston Bruins
  • Buffalo Sabres
  • Calgary Flames
  • Carolina Hurricanes
  • Chicago Blackhawks
  • Colorado Avalanche
  • Columbus Blue Jackets
  • Dallas Stars
  • Detroit Red Wings
  • Edmonton Oilers
  • Florida Panthers
  • Los Angeles Kings
  • Minnesota Wild
  • Montreal Canadiens
  • Nashville Predators
  • New Jersey Devils
  • New York Islanders
  • New York Rangers
  • Ottawa Senators
  • Philadelphia Flyers
  • Phoenix Coyotes
  • Pittsburgh Penguins
  • San Jose Sharks
  • St. Louis Blues
  • Tampa Bay Lightning
  • Toronto Maple Leafs
  • Vancouver Canucks
  • Washington Capitals

By Division:

Eastern Conference

Atlantic
  • New Jersey Devils
  • New York Islanders
  • New York Rangers
  • Philadelphia Flyers
  • Pittsburgh Penguins

Northeast
  • Boston Bruins
  • Buffalo Sabres
  • Montreal Canadiens
  • Ottawa Senators
  • Toronto Maple Leafs

Southeast
  • Atlanta Thrashers
  • Carolina Hurricanes
  • Florida Panthers
  • Tampa Bay Lightning
  • Washington Capitals

Western Conference

Central
  • Chicago Blackhawks
  • Columbus Blue Jackets
  • Detroit Red Wings
  • Nashville Predators
  • St. Louis Blues

Northwest
  • Calgary Flames
  • Colorado Avalanche
  • Edmonton Oilers
  • Minnesota Wild
  • Vancouver Canucks

Pacific
  • Anaheim Ducks
  • Dallas Stars
  • Los Angeles Kings
  • Phoenix Coyotes
  • San Jose Sharks

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Midori Ito GO!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Relationship Bases... what are they?

Relationship Bases... what are they?

Question: What are the relationship bases?

Answer: From what I can gather, this changes from person to person, culture to culture, age group to age group, but the most common I found is the following:
  • First base = kissing, including open-mouth and french kissing
  • Second base = heavy petting and play above the waist, including touching, tickling, feeling, fondling, and caressing the chest, breast, and nipples. Copping a feel, above the waist.
  • Third base = petting/orally stimulating below the waist, touching, tickling, feeling, fondling, and caressing the vagina, clitoris, penis, and testicles. Handjobs, blowjobs, cunnilingus, finger-banging, all fit in this category. Not sure if anal stimulation fits in here, or if that's third base and a half.
  • Home run = full sexual intercourse.
A funny base answer I found on my search for the truth:
  • First Base = Asking each other out.
  • Second Base = Saying Yes.
  • Third Base = The First Date.
  • Home Run = You both really like each other.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

MacGruber Theme Song Lyrics!

MacGruber Theme Song Lyrics!

macgruber in underwear

MacGruber, making life saving inventions out of household materials
MacGruber, Getting in and out of ultra sticky situations
MacGruber, The Guy's a Friggin Genious
MACGRUBER!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Is Natalie Imbruglia a Lesbian?

Is Natalie Imbruglia a Lesbian?

I did a Google search. Nothing solid.



So I did some more digging and found out that she is indeed not a lesbian as she was married to the guy from Silverchair. However, they got divorced, so it's possible she swings both ways and he caught her with another woman (speculation).

Next month I will be answering the question, "Is Natalie Imbruglia bi-sexual?"

Monday, January 26, 2009

soap hands

creepy-soap-hands
these hands

Sunday, January 25, 2009

How many 'Baldwin' brother actors are there?

How many 'Baldwin' brother actors are there?

alec-baldwinstephen-baldwin
Billy-Baldwindaniel-baldwin

Answer:
Alec, Stephen, Billy (William), and Daniel = 4

Or:

the-baldwin-brothers-collage

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Gone in 60 Seconds Complete Car List and Codenames

Gone in 60 Seconds Complete Car List and Codenames

gone-in-60-seconds-car-list

The list is from IMDB but on IMDB it's hard to read so I verticalized the list.

The list of cars, with their codenames, is as follows:

1 1999 Aston Martin DB7 - Mary
2 1962 Aston Martin DB1 - Barbara
3 1999 Bentley Arnage - Lindsey
4 1999 Bentley Azure - Laura
5 1964 Bentley Continental - Alma
6 1959 Cadillac El Dorado - Madeline
7 1958 Cadillac El Dorado Brougham - Patricia
8 1999 Cadillac Escalade - Carol
9 2000 Cadillac El Dorado ETC (El Dorado Touring Coupe) - Daniela
10 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air Convertible - Stefanie
11 1969 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 - Erin
12 1953 Chevrolet Corvette - Pamela
13 1967 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray Big Block - Stacey
14 2000 Ford F350 4x4 modified pick-up - Anne
15 1971 DeTomaso Pantera - Kate
16 1969 Dodge Daytona - Vanessa
17 1998 Dodge Viper Coupe GTS - Denise
18 1995 Ferrari 355 B - Diane
19 1997 Ferrari 355 F1 - Iris
20 1967 Ferrari 275 GTB4 - Nadine
21 1999 Ferrari 550 Maranello - Angelina
22 1987 Ferrari Testarossa - Rose
23 1956 Ford T-Bird - Susan
24 2000 GMC Yukon - Megan
25 1999 HumVee 2-Door Pickup - Tracy
26 1999 Infiniti Q45 - Rachel
27 1994 Jaguar XJ 220 - Bernadene
28 1999 Jaguar XK8 Coupe - Deborah
29 1990 Lamborghini Diablo - Gina
30 1999 Lexus LS 400 - Hillary
31 1999 Lincoln Navigator - Kimberley
32 1957 Mercedes Benz 300 SL/Gullwing - Dorothy
33 1999 Mercedes Benz CL 500 - Donna
34 1999 Mercedes Benz S 600 - Samantha
35 1998 Mercedes Benz SL 600 - Ellen
36 1950 Mercury Custom - Gabriela
37 1971 Plymouth Hemi Cuda - Shannon
38 1969 Plymouth Roadrunner - Jessica
39 1965 Pontiac GTO - Sharon
40 1999 Porsche 996 - Tina
41 2000 Porsche Boxster - Marsha
42 1961 Porsche Speedster - Natalie
43 1988 Porsche 959 - Virginia
44 1997 Porsche 911 Twin Turbo - Tanya
45 2000 Rolls Royce Stretch Limousine - Grace
46 1966 Shelby AC Cobra - Ashley
47 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 500 - Eleanor
48 2000 Toyota Landcruiser - Cathy
49 1998 Toyota Supra Turbo - Lynn
50 2000 Volvo Turbo Wagon R - Lisa

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The greatest Will Ferrell Doctor Skit EVER! "Script"

The greatest Will Ferrell Doctor Skit EVER! "Script"

will ferrell doctor

I didn't write this. I found it on a forum. If somebody did write it, let me know so I can give credit. Or Link to it. Or whatever.

Crazy Doctor

Doctor.....Will Ferrell
Wife.....Maya Rudolph
Husband.....Darrell Hammond
.....Molly Shannon
Mr. Daverhill.....Jimmy Fallon
Mrs. Daverhill.....Renee Zelwegger

[ open on interior, Dr. Beaman's office ]

Doctor: You sure you don't want to use any drugs for the delivery?

Wife: Well.. we thought about it, and we really want to have a natural birth.

Doctor: Funny.. a couple of dopeheads like you.. I thought you would jump at a chance to get high illegally.

Wife: Excuse me! We are not drug addicts!

Doctor: [ twitches ] Huh? I'm sorry.. were you talking to me? Did you just tell me you thought I was attractive?

Husband: She didn't say that!

Doctor: Let's face it, chum.. the ol' Ball and Chain is into OPP, if you catch my drift..

Wife: Hey! You are really..

[ Molly Shannon runs in dressed as a nurse ]

Molly Shannon: Doctor! The Davenhalls have been waiting for nearly an hour!

Doctor: Thank you, Molly Shannon! Send them in right away.

Husband: We're not done!

Doctor: I'm terribly sorry. I double-book my patients so I can make more money and be happier with my life.

Wife: I think we want to switch doctors!

Husband: Yeah!

Doctor: [ stands ] Well.. knock yourself out, toots! But no one knows their way around your gyne-town like me!

Husband: You can't talk to people like that!

Doctor: Well, I just did talk to people like that Now.. scoot! [ pushes the couple out of his office ] Scoot it! Move it on out! [ stretches his arms ] Alright.. that should clear my schedule for the day.. at last, a little Me Time! [ sits down ] Better call Beverly..

[ the Davenhalls enter ]

Mr. Daverhill: Hello!

Mrs. Daverhill: Hi, Doctor!

Doctor: [ looks up ] Oh.. it's you.

Mrs. Daverhill: Is this a bad time?

Doctor: Frankly.. yes.

Mr. Daverhill: You scheduled this time..

Doctor: That is a lie, and you know it! [ sighs ] Since you're here, let's do this..

Mr. Daverhill: I wasn't lying, I.. [ they sit ]

Mrs. Daverhill: Well, everything seems to be pretty good. I can feel the baby kicking!

Doctor: Maybe he'll grow up to be a place-kicker! [ they all laugh at the joke ] ENOUGH!!

Mrs. Daverhill: Could you not yell like that?

Doctor: I have very upsetting and shocking news.

Mr. Daverhill: Oh, my God.. what?

Mrs. Daverhill: What..?

Doctor: After taking over 400 Polaroids of your Choo-Choo, I have detemrined..

Mrs. Daverhill: Excuse me.. what's a "Choo-Choo"?

Doctor: Heaven on Earh, my friend! Some people call it the Love-Llama. Anyway, after taking several hundred photos, I came to a startling conclusion that'll change your lives for- [ phone rings ] Hold on, this'll just take a second.. [ answers phone ] Hello. What? Why, I'd love to change my long-distance service! Yeah. Now? No, now's a great time for me! Hold on.. I've got call-waiting.. [ takes other call ] Hello? Bev-er-ly! My old friend! How are you? Oh, my God! I love Hungry, Hungry Hippos! No, I didn't know they had tournaments.. What?! Third place! That's fabulous! No, I'm completely alone right now. Please go on in great detail! Ohhh.. oh-ho-ho! Ahhhh! Eeeeee!! Ahhhh! [ Mr. Davenhall clears his throat to catch the doctor's attention ] Please stop doing that! What's that, Beverly? Yeah, I've got a couple of.. pieces of trash here in my office.. real stout..

Mrs. Daverhill: We can hear you!

Doctor: The guy's got this bony oblong head. Mmm-hmm. The kind you'd paid money to kick! And the chick's just an old-fashioned fatty, with a face like a rotten bee's nest.

Mr. Daverhill: Hey, you know, come on!

Doctor: Gotta go, old chum. Gott go. See you at the races. And, oh yeah.. sorry about your loss! [ laughs uproariously at the in-joke ] Well, the police were never that bright anyways! Alright, bye now! [ hangs up phone, then begins to hum to himself ]

Mrs. Daverhill: Excuse me?

Doctor: [ looks up ] Aaagghh!! Who the HELL are you?! Molly Shannon! Help me! HELP ME!!

Molly Shannon: [ runs in ] What?!

Doctor: Call the police! There's a couple of greasers here to rob me!!

Molly Shannon: Doctor, these are the Daverhills, you have an appointment with them, remember?

Molly Shannon: Ohhh.. I see. [ relieved ] Whoo!

Molly Shannon: Is there anything else, Doctor?

Doctor: No, I just thought they were greasers. Thank you, Molly Shannon, you are a delight!

Molly Shannon: As are you, sir! [ exits ]

Doctor: Now.. where were we?

Mr. Daverhill: You said you had some startling news for us..?

Doctor: What? Oh, yes! You're not pregnant.

Mrs. Daverhill: [ stunned ] Wha..?

Mr. Daverhill: How is that possible?

Doctor: It happens all the time. One of your kidneys just happens to be shaped like a baby.. and then you started to get fat.

Mrs. Daverhill: But.. we heard the heartbeat, and..

Doctor: That was the bass drum from the Toto cover band that lives next door.

Mr. Daverhill: What are you talking about?

Doctor: I'll be honest.. I don't know.. My mind.. my mind is elsewhere.. I got in a traffic argument this morning. This woman must have been at least 80.. and I slapped her, pretty hard, in the face. And then I ripped all the groceries out of her car and threw them in the street, and backed over them with my Humvee. I feel crummy about it.

Mrs. Daverhill: Well, you probably shouldn't do things like that..

Doctor: You SHUT that SMELLY MOUTH of yours NOW!! Or I'll SLAP YOU!! There I go again..

Mr. Daverhill: What's your deal?

Doctor: What's my deal, Bucko?! I'll tell you what my deal is! I'm gonna go KARATE on your FACE!! THAT'S my DEAL, HONCHO!! Huh?! Is that a good enough DEAL for you?! Huh?! Huh?!

Mr. Daverhill: [ cracking up ] Look.. I don't want to fight you..

Mrs. Daverhill: I think my water broke! Yes, I am having the baby! Ho! That was a contraction! Oh, God!

Doctor: [ jumps out of his chair and screams like a little girl ] What are we gonna do??!! Boil some blankets! Get some tofu! Tape some old episodes of "Benson"! [ Molly Shannon enters ] Molly Shannon, what are we gonna do??!! Tell me this is a dream!

Molly Shannon: Everything's gonna be okay! We're gonna deliver a baby!

Doctor: [ screams ] The HELL I am!! BLOODY MUDER!! BLOODY MURDER!!

Mrs. Daverhill: Is he a real doctor?

Molly Shannon: No, he's not a doctor, but he's an absolute gentlemen. Now, come on, let's get you to the hospital! [ leads the Daverhills out of the office as the Doctor continues to scream ]

Doctor: [ sighs relief as they exit ] That was a tough one! My dogs are barking.. [ sits, pulls socks off and props feet on desk ] Good God, what I put up with. Yee-ikes.

[ fade out ]

Friday, December 19, 2008

NHL Ice Rink Dimensions

NHL Ice Rink Dimensions

The NHL Ice Rink is 85 feet wide and 200 feet long.

Illustrated below:

NHL Ice Rink Dimensions

These dimensions prove one thing, Anton Volchenkov REALLY missed the net in tonight's game versus the Devils.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Question: Can a Bat resemble a Vagina?

Question: Can a Bat resemble a Vagina?

Answer:

Bat Vagina

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Action 8 Newswatch SNL Transcript

I've been searching and searching and searching for a video of Action 8 News from SNL. If anybody stumbles across it, please post the link as a comment on this blog post.

Thanks.

Here's the transcript (borrowed from http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99anewswatch.phtml)

Action 8 Newswatch

Connor Stands.....Jerry Seinfeld
Taffy Davenport.....Ana Gasteyer
Hale Breezy.....Chris Parnell
Sorrell Matthews.....Tim Meadows
Roger Sorkin.....Will Ferrell

Announcer: It's the 11 o'clock Action 8 Newswatch, with Connor Stands and Taffy Davenport, and the entire Action 8 News Team.

Connor Stands: Our top stories tonight: the president has been assassinated. But president of what? We'll tell you in the next half-hour. Taffy?

Taffy Davenport: Connor, it's no bark and all bite for golden retrievers and other so-called family dogs. What's causing these sweet and furry creatures to viciously attack sleeping toddlers? Stay, and we'll tell you in a minute.

Connor Stands: Also tonight: a common household item - something we all have in our homes and are probably using right now - is found to be full of lethal poison. We'll tell you what it is at the end of the hour.

Taffy Davenport: Also: a psychopathic sex criminal makes a prison break, threatening to kill the first person he meets in a large public area. Coming up, we'll tell you where, and Hale Breezy's gonna guide us through this evening's approaching monsoon.

Hale Breezy: Taffy, Hurricane Paula is here. The deadly storm is moving fast and taking no prisoners! On my Weather Roundup, I'll give you tips on how to keep the fatalities in your family to a minimum!

Connor Stands: And more on that deadly household object. Hint: you won't find it in your refrigerator. Taffy?

Taffy Davenport: And, later in the hour, Big 8 Reporter Sorrell Matthews gives us an update on the infestation of disease-bearing insects in your community.

Sorrell Matthews: Taffy, a source close to the Mayor says that in 48 hours, all bugs will become carriers of a deadly virus that may or not be the Bubonic Plague. But, not to worry. You can protect yourself from this seemingly inescapable plague by using common everyday bug repellents.

Taffy Davenport: In a related story, a deadly toxin, found in one common everyday bug repellant, is linked to a crippling neurological disorder. We'll tell you which one later in the broadcast. Connor?

Connor Stands: Another hint: you can't bounce it. More on that deadly household object coming up. And, on our Big 8 Special Report, Newswatch's own Taffy Davenport asks the question, "Are We Really Safe?"

Taffy Davenport: Are We Really Safe? What about our schools? Our children? The elderly? How about our pets? And, finally, are safety products safe? A new study says no. I'll wrap it up for you later in the hour.

Connor Stands: The lethal household product is not made of wood, nor is it made of plastic. And you don't even have to use it for it to end your whole life. I'll solve this puzzle at the end of the hour.

Taffy Davenport: And you don't want to miss tonight's Roger Sorkin Minute.

Roger Sorkin: Can a potty chair crush my toddler's kneecap? You betcha! Can mental patients buy automatic weapons at gun fairs? My cousin did! Can an airbag spontaneously inflate and burn me while I sit in a parked car eating my lunch? Hell, yeah! Don't panic? No, panic! Panic! Don't miss a minute of the minute!

Connor Stands: This just in - that household product has just gotten deadlier. And the longer you wait, the deadlier it gets.

Taffy Davenport: Is it a rubber band?

Connor Stands: You'll have to find out with everybody else, Taffy, at the end of the hour.

Taffy Davenport: All these stories and an interview with ZZ Top, live at the State Fairgrounds.

Connor Stands: More news on that presidential assassination: he will be replaced by the Vice-President. But Vice-President of what? We'll tell you after the break.